It's been a while

I've been eating like a fat person for the past week, and I didn't care. Now I'm full, have an upset stomach, and heartburn. No more. I had my fill of junk. I told BF that I'm only cooking good food from now on. No more crap. No more high fat, high carb meals. Healthy, low fat, wholesome, not-too-many-carbs meals. And plans. I need plans. I bet I've gained 10 pounds. I'm going to the gym tomorrow, and I'm having my orientation with my trainer. Maybe it will help. I'm tired of all this fat. I'm tired of weighing more than BF. I want to be the small one. I want to be the cute one. As much as I hate it, I want to turn heads. And I will. Soon, in a year or a year and a half, I will be the one. I will be healthy. I will live. Dad will be proud. When I wake up tomorrow, it's a new day. I will begin again. I will blog religiously. Even if I don't want to, I will. I will exercise daily. Even if it's only for an hour on the treadmill, I will do it. I will eat healthy. I want to live. I want to live. I WILL LIVE!!!